Don’t Look Down

I have nowhere left to turn.
I want to talk to this person so badly. Its literally killing me. I'm just afraid because actually speaking in person is my last option. But if they decide they don't want to deal with me and say that they can't help...
I guess I just feel like there's still a way out...but if I turn to them and they turn away, I'll be alone.
...More alone. Then I would only have one other choice.

I just hate having these feelings and realizing that its pointless.
I wish there was a way...


I've resorted to going to other people for painkillers. I went around during rehearsal. Elissa said she had Midal but I didn't want to grow a vagina or something. Thankfully, Carly had Advil. I don't even think it was really Advil. She had them in a prescription bottle and gave me a good amount. My head stopped throbbing after a while. I'm starting to question if I have a legit headache or if I'm imagining it. I sound like such a druggie.

I just wish there was a way to escape this...or make it easier.