Don’t Look Down

His mind was full of secrets
His thoughts were full of fear
His heart was feeling empty
Help never did appear

The thoughts that swirled inside me
The secrets that I hid
All went against the life I lived
I knew He would forbid

No one could give guidance
This option seemed the only way
But never will he see the pain
Or stain he left today

I'm sorry I couldn't live that life
I was so alone and afraid
I tried so hard to talk to Him
He never listened when I prayed

People often ask
"Is there more we could have done?
Is there more we should have said
Or had the fear already won?"

I tried so hard to talk to you
I didn't think you heard me calling --
Shouting for your help in this
So I could walk...and finish crawling.

Standing outside in the rain
All he asked for was protection
Of all the empathy he searched for
He only got rejection

I went to them for guidance
They knew not what to say
Your help was all that worked for me
Your words got me through another day

I stand here today
And try to figure out
How to make this work
But I keep coming back to doubt.

Now I know how he had felt --
To try and find solutions --
To have more questions than his answers
and result in more confusion

I'm sorry I couldn't help you.
I'm sorry I caused you pain.
I'm sorry I didn't understand.
I'm sorry I couldn't explain.

I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish this could change.
I wish you were near.

Maybe one day it'll make sense.
Maybe one day you will see.
Maybe one day I'll look back

and see that all you really needed...was me.