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In The Silence Will He Stay One Day?
Posted on 3/24/08 at 09:28 pmI Feel: torn
I'm not sure how long I can go covering this up.
I almost said it to them once before. I was so freaked out about it. Thankfully I didn't say what I was thinking...or I probably did but I tend to mumble. Thank God that I can't speak English properly.
I know I'll probably feel better once I just let it out and say it. On the other hand, its most likely going to be used against me like its been in the past. I should probably just continue to try and shut it out of my thoughts...even if it doesn't work... How long until this goes away? The feelings are still here. Its been months of convincing myself otherwise.
As long as they don't ask me about it...and I stay away from alcohol, I'll be fine.
Its hard for me to lie about this. Its even harder to fight myself. I'm such a stubborn bitch...
I have two personalities: 'what I want' and 'what I feel'.
Unfortunately, feelings are stronger than thoughts.
A man can convince himself to think a certain way, but his feelings don't listen.
I'm so confused about everything. Being alone only causes more thinking which then causes more confusion. I should probably speak to them and let everything come out -- find out how I truly feel rather than how I want to feel.
Maybe I should just open my mouth.
I almost said it to them once before. I was so freaked out about it. Thankfully I didn't say what I was thinking...or I probably did but I tend to mumble. Thank God that I can't speak English properly.
I know I'll probably feel better once I just let it out and say it. On the other hand, its most likely going to be used against me like its been in the past. I should probably just continue to try and shut it out of my thoughts...even if it doesn't work... How long until this goes away? The feelings are still here. Its been months of convincing myself otherwise.
As long as they don't ask me about it...and I stay away from alcohol, I'll be fine.
Its hard for me to lie about this. Its even harder to fight myself. I'm such a stubborn bitch...
I have two personalities: 'what I want' and 'what I feel'.
Unfortunately, feelings are stronger than thoughts.
A man can convince himself to think a certain way, but his feelings don't listen.
I'm so confused about everything. Being alone only causes more thinking which then causes more confusion. I should probably speak to them and let everything come out -- find out how I truly feel rather than how I want to feel.
Maybe I should just open my mouth.