Don’t Look Down

Wow.
I don't even know what to say about it.
"I hope all of you gay kids will choose to be gay... but its not a choice anways, because you're born that way."
...What?
I just regret not getting up and saying something myself.
I wanted to tell everybody how I am and why I'm acting the way I am. I wanted to  tell them I'm afraid of myself because I'm afraid of what they'll say. I wanted to tell everyone I can't accept myself because I feel like none of them can accept me. I wanted to let them know how much their name-calling has affected me and how I'm ashamed of everything I am.
I just wanted to tell everyone...
but I didn't.

A girl went up and said even though she and none of her friends are gay, she supports gays and wanted to join the GSA. She didn't because of what others said to her. She spoke up for the GSA and I thought that was really cool. It proved that not everyone is the way I assumed and there are people out there that accept it. It definitely made me feel better.
But I still didn't have the strength to go up and say it.
I'm just not a strong person...and I hate myself for it.

I'm still trying to decide if I should do it or not.
I want to...
but I don't.
Well, I do...but I can't.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say.
I can't get up the nerve to do it -- auditions and rehearsals...I can't deal with being there.
I'm weak in so many ways.

 WavesToSound: like, i just think that my views are very conservative stereotypical